The one thing you need to realize about being successful with women is that it takes a genuine personality to win them over.
It’s not about putting on a persona that’s different from your true self just to get women to like you.
You’re not some secret vigilante crimefighter who needs to put on a mask and become this totally different person at night. Sooner or later, you’ll run out of canned pickup lines and dialogues – soon or later, you’ll “break character”.
The best way to become truly attractive then is to cultivate a mindset and attitude that help you act in the most authentic way possible.
#1: Don’t Feel Entitled
A lot of guys are hung up on the idea that their ideal soulmate is destined to suddenly just drop in front of them at some point in their lives. I’ve met and spoken to more than a handful of guys who think their love lives are going magically work out for them.
What I mean by this is that some men believe that they can keep on dating women they really don’t like deep inside and settle for them while believing that the perfect woman is eventually going to show up.
This is all I can say for those who think like this: Don’t hold your breath.
The only way you’re going to meet the ideal partner is by actively looking for them AND making the effort to truly understand the female mind when it comes to dating and attraction. If you’re not going to put in the work, then you’re not entitled to zilch.
#2: Being Masculine Is Key
Modern trends have given rise to a legion of guys who think that being more like women – a.k.a. emphasizing on their feminine qualities – is the quickest way to a girl’s heart.
I can’t tell you how wrong this is! Guys are attractive to women because of their MASCULINE side.
It’s one thing to respect women, and another to be so afraid of them that you wouldn’t come within a ten-foot radius of their presence. These Sensitive New Age Guys (or SNAGs) are all heart and no spine, which makes them deathly afraid of “messing ” with a girl a little light-hearted and good-spirited way.
They wouldn’t dream of cracking a joke or two about something generally harmless with a woman, or create any sort of romantic tension. Instead, these SNAGs come under the pretense of being this asexual creature that just comes off as odd and doesn’t create any real attraction.
In other words, they think that attracting women is about trying to be like her other female friends, i.e. being a shoulder to cry on and listen to her complain about how “all the good men are taken”.
If you’re not going to at least give a subtle hint or two that you might be interested in her, then you’ve successfully eliminated any chance of her seeing you in a romantic light.
#3: Get Your Head Out Of The Game
That’s right. The best way to succeed is to NOT overthink things.
There has been a lot of scientific studies done on the phenomenon of choking under pressure, and much of it points to the fact that it’s caused by being too self-conscious and mulling over every little detail while you’re in the field.
Books such as “Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal About Getting It Right When You Have To” tell us that we choke when our brain gets too much in the way when you “go through the motions”, thus interrupting the process and making us fumble.
The best way to “shut off” your brain while talking to or dating women is by not obsessing about the outcome. Don’ t think about what’s going to happen next or if she likes you. Being too invested in the outcome makes it a do-or-die situation.
This is NOT a good mindset to have if you want to appear friendly, relaxed and easy-going. How can you be when your mind is loaded with too much chatter?
Remember: she is not the last woman on earth and you won’t die if she doesn’t like you. What you shouldn’t forget that this is just another learning experience that will take you one step closer to being consistently successful with women.
Take note that I didn’t make any mention about having six-pack abs or a fat bank account to become attractive. Those are nice things to have, but ultimately, a winning attitude makes up the bare basics of getting women to like you.
The more you focus on the three tips above to create a likeable personality, the more effortless it will be to attract the ladies.
